Emotion Check
by TeAroha
Summary: One shot. Jasper gets the bright idea to try and turn the grass emo so that it will cut itself, he doesn't realize it wont work and worst of all he broke Esme's lawnmower she is not impressed. But just how did this happen? And why? Better then it sounds.


**No idea why I wrote it I just remember seeing a badge that had 'I wish the grass was emo so it would cut itself' and then I thought of Jasper. Anyway I don't mean anything towards emo's I know that just because your labelled that it doesn't mean you cut and if you cut your not emo...any way no offence intended to anyone at all, sorry if I do offend you please don't yell. Anyway yeah there you go my first one shot, no idea where the pov come from in this story so yeah lol enjoy or not whatever :) **

I sat in a tree not too far from the Cullen's house watching what they were doing. Last night I had seen Jasper destroy half the garden because he wasn't getting any action and everyone else was, that's why I think he was doing it anyway, that and maybe the lust would have gotten to him. It was amusing to watch none the less. And I sit in the same tree again watching to see what trouble Jasper gets into...

"Jasper, mow the lawns _now!_"

He knew his face dropped and his eyes bulged out of his head in a comical way "But why? I wanted to go out with the others" He said in a very whinny voice as he turned away from his laughing wife to face the vampire that had become his mother over the many years, her face serious for once.

"Because Mr. That's what happens when you decide to destroy my garden last night"

Esme pointed her finger accusingly towards Jasper then to her distorted garden where the flowers had been ripped out and thrown everywhere

"That wasn't my fault though"

"Yes it was, no one else did it"

He went to argue more but knew it would do no good. Esme was not impressed and he could feel it. He pushed his bottom lip out, pouting and nodded his head, watching as the whole family left all grinning from ear to ear, even his own wife.

When they were gone he slowly walked out to get the lawnmower, muttering the whole way as he dragged it to the backyard. He couldn't figure out why Alice hadn't warned him about all this before she had left for the night. It hadn't been his fault that all the lust in the entire house had driven him to the deep end, if anything it really was Rose, Emmett, Bella, Edward and even Esme and Carlisle's doing, if they hadn't been as Horney as jack rabbits he would have been fine. He couldn't figure out how one person is meant to deal with that much sex in one house? Without his partner there, it's very hard to deal with all that at once and the plants just happened to be in the way when he got angry about the whole thing, how else was he suppose to deal with all the emotion? His wife wasn't home last night so he couldn't do anything with her, the only other rational option was to take it out on something else and now he was being punished for it, he didn't know of any other vampire that had to deal with this. It's not easy being the almighty cool master of emotions.

"That's it!" He yelled out to the empty space, much like he had the night before. He threw the lawnmower as far as he could across the lawn, having a tantrum much like a three year old that was told they couldn't have their candy. Jasper realized a little too late that unlike him the lawn mower was not indestructible and watched horrified as Esme's lawnmower shatter to a million pieces. He knew Esme was going to kill him now, first her garden and now her only lawnmower, she was very sentimental when it came to the human objects she owned and hated when they broke. He was dead.

Sighing in frustration he sat down, crossing his arms and staring angrily at the grass, his thoughts spilling over and becoming aggravated towards the grass. Why did it need to be cut in the first place? Why couldn't it freeze and stop growing when it was short, like how a person stops aging when they turn. Suddenly he remembered a movie he had been watching weeks ago, he recalled people known as emo's being in the movie and whenever they got upset or angry they would cut themselves. If they could cut themselves then the grass could as well, all he had to do was get the grass upset or angry and he could use his powers, at least that why the grass can cut itself and he wouldn't get in trouble for not mowing the lawns. A genius plain he thought.

Jasper was using all the emotions he could muster up and threw it out towards the grass, every dark feeling flowed through him and into the ground. He sat like that for hours

I watched from where I sat completely interested and lost on what the hell Jasper was now doing. I watched as complete concentration took over his face and he stared intently at the grass, not moving one inch, not when a few flies landed on him, not even when a bird flew over and crapped on him. I restrained a giggly, had he lost his mind? He didn't even move when the family showed up and Esme did not look happy

"Jasper! What the hell, why aren't the lawns done?" Her eyes scanned the yard and they fell upon the broken lawnmower, she screamed in shock and ran towards it "Jasper how could you? My lawnmower" She started crying tearlessly, sobs breaking threw as she mourned for the lost of her favourite and only lawnmower. Carlisle ran over to his wife trying to comfort her, but he too soon got emotional over the loss and was mourning with her. The whole scene was very concerning and I soon realized why, Carlisle and Esme were being effect by Jaspers emotions he was sending out because he was still focus on the lawn. Bella walked over to him then and gave him a quick kick feeling the angry from his power. He blinked and looked at her

"Jasper what the hell are you doing?" Edward behind Bella started to laugh already reading the thoughts of his brother

He looked innocently up at Bella "Trying to mow the lawns, can't you tell"

She put her hands on her hips and looked down at him as Rose sighed already losing interest "No because you broke the lawnmower, Esme and Carlisle are over there carrying about it"

He looked over at his parents and shrugged before concentrating on the grass again

"JASPER!" Bella screamed at him in frustration "How exactly are you trying to mow the lawns?"

He looked up at her like he couldn't believe she was so stupid "Well missy if you must know, I'm applying the skills emo's use when they get upset or angry and cut and putting it onto the grass that way making the grass emo too so then it can cut itself" He said in matter of fact why, feeling proud of himself

Bella doubled over in laughter, as Alice his own wife walked away unable to believe her husband just said that. Emmett was nodding his head agreeing on every level that Jasper had a point and thought it would work. I sat in my tree trying to hold my laughter in for a bit longer as Bella spoke trying to control her laughter

"Jasper you idiot that will never work"

He crossed his arms "And why not?"

"Because grass doesn't have emotions running though them, they don't feel it's impossible. Remember biology Jasper? If you did you would know that plants are incapable of doing anything other than growing, reproducing and doing photosynthesis. So it's not going to work and you still have to mow the lawns and buy Esme a new lawnmower, where she'll then no doubt punish you _again_"

Realization hit him like a brick in the gut; he put his head into his hands, stopping all emotions from leaving him and felt like a complete dick. Emmett walked over and bent down

"If it makes you feel better it sounded like a good idea to me" He smiled widely and Jasper just groaned

"No one ever mention this ever again"

I couldn't help it then, I burst into a fit of laughter and disappeared leaving them for awhile

The family looked towards the laughter and away again, not knowing what it was. Esme stormed over to Jasper. Aw hell he was dead even for a vampire.


End file.
